bisexulity and boyfriends

[annabell]

my current issue is eally that I am sure that I like both sexes but that I am afraid that in case I might become a mother I might somday turn into a lesbian that does not really feel attracked to her partner anymore.

Maybe I am actually a lesbian but don´ t know it.

I tend to fall in love with boys and I fell atracked to them when they are aroused.

How did you find out?

[annabell]

sorry for spelling mistakes

[inkypinky]

Hmmm. Funny story:
My Mom had a relationship with a woman. Before she always had relationships with men (and afterwards, too). I think that's when I started thinking a lot about my own sexual orientation, before I just considered myself heterosexual.
Then there was a time when I often claimed that my relations and feelings towards women was completely asexual. Then I started wondering why I was saying this so often. Well and the answer was: Because somewhere in the back of my head I knew it was not true. I think I was just subconsciously forbidding myself to be in love with girls. And once I figured that out, I somewhat slowly managed to stop doing that (I am absolutely not sure if this process has completely finished or will ever finish, I rather believe it won't).
Well for now I consider myself kosmosexual, allowing myself to desire anyone I find interesting, beyond gender cathegories.


Well I hope I'm still welcome in this group eventhough I'm neither lesbian nor bisexual.

[Laura Severi]

Don't feel like you have to choose a sexual orientation "for life". I understand totally that their seems to be a social pressure that makes us feel like we have to choose sometimes but personally I agree with the previous reply that sexual orientation is fluid. We meet people and we like them or not, regardless of their sex, to me the act of sex is just a way of showing how much i like somebody, whether that makes me straight or a lesbian doesn't mean that much to me.

You might marry a man but then there's nothing stopping you from divorcing and living with a woman, if indeed you fall out of love, which most people do after some time.

love xxxx

[annabell]

Hey everybody--thank you so much for your replies. My boyfriend was here and I told him crying: look I might be a lesbian and maybe I am just keeping this relationship alive as I am afraid to admit this to myself. The first two days I was feeling totally asexual when he was around and that really frustrated me. However, he said it is alright and then , after a couple of hours my sexual feelings came back.
What I learned from this expereince was that my worrying really in a way blocked the feeling I had for him. They came back as he just lets me be what I need to be.
The more time we spent to geter the more excited I began to feel.

However, I know now what and who I am. I like who I like and if Thomas was not there I could as wellfall in love with a woman or another man.

Thank you so much again for your answers.
Best, Annabell (my Germenglish;-))

[Kata]

I pretty much have always been attracted to both, though I'm married to a guy. I agree with a lot of what InkyPinky is saying...I was forbidding myself the feelings I had for chicks, and acting uber-straight. Lame.

Anyway, totally into whoever I'm into now, whatever their gender. My husband understands...I'm lucky he's so cool. My main thing is to not lead anyone on and destroy psyches.

[smuttynose]

In my experience, women are just better at it (relationships, sex, friendships) and though I personally find chicks more appealing, I'm still attracted to men.

I guess no matter if your in a lesbian relationship or a straight relationship (either way) you might decide to go the other way later in life. You gotta lets these things happen the way they're gonna happen. There is definitely nothing wrong with being bisexual :)